Selma convinced me to spend a week in an ashram just outside Rishikesh, to practice meditation and yoga. It didn’t take much to convince me, as I was already curious about deepening the connection to my inner self and had previously practiced yoga a number of times.

My only conditions were the place must have a secular approach to meditation and the accommodations and meals must be included. She found an interesting place named Phool Chatti Ashram, located next to the mystic Ganges river. It seemed to meet our needs and much more. Unfortunately, it wasn’t quite what we hoped for. Upon arrival, we were given the daily itinerary:

  • 05:30 wake-up bell
  • 06:00 silent meditation
  • 06:30 chanting
  • 06:45 yogic cleansing
  • 07:00 breathing exercises
  • 07:15 hatha yoga
  • 09:00 breakfast
  • 10:00 karma yoga
  • 10:30 meditative walk
  • 12:30 lunch & tea
  • 13:00 free time
  • 15:00 lecture & discussion
  • 16:00 ashtanga yoga
  • 17:30 breathing exercises
  • 17:45 temple pooja (ritual)
  • 18:00 kirtan (sacred singing)
  • 19:30 dinner
  • 20:30 guided meditation

If you think that’s a lot and too intensive for a beginner, I agree. I made it two days before my body and mind gave out. On the 3rd day, Selma and I cancelled the rest of the week and left. Why exactly?

Firstly, the place didn’t have a secular approach. The chanting, singing and all rituals had a strong connection to Shanti, the deity associated to yoga. I wasn’t the only one to complain about this; there was a German couple that opt-ed out of these ceremonies as well. If I wanted to pray to a god, I would have picked a place that was upfront about it.

Secondly, the place was a paradox. For example, on the first day, the instructors said they wanted to break down the national boundaries of the 30 students and have us connect in other ways. Following this, they asked us to introduce ourselves with our country of origin (so much for eliminating nationalities) and said 80% of the week would be in silence (so much for trying to connect with others). I actually mostly enjoyed the silence, but it was quite awkward after travelling with a friend you’re used to talking with regularly. I wanted to share my new thoughts and feelings about the experience, but was unable.

Thirdly, the facility had an overabundance of cement, steel doors, locks, cages, sparse rooms, firm beds and tin roofs that made me feel like I was in a prison more than a place of peace. The only time I felt a peace was when I stopped going to the classes and relaxed on a patio overlooking the river.

Lastly, there was barely any free time to explore your own thoughts and ideas. Instead, the strict itinerary forced you completely obey the schedule, shoving plenty of other people’s thoughts down your throat.

A much less structured and religious ashram would have been better, and although this experience didn’t end well, I have not given up on my spiritual exploration.