Recently I made a big decision, one that was sorely needed. I’ve been relatively aimless for the past few months, living from moment to moment without a real direction. Over time, it left me feeling empty and bored. There’s nothing real to complain about, as my life is pretty awesome overall; my successful career fulfills my intellect, have great support from my family, have financial security and excellent physical health, and a good network of friends. Yet despite all this, I mostly felt lonely, tired and unfulfilled.
After this feeling dragged on for several months, I consulted my therapist for advice. I explained I needed change in my life (or at least a change in my perception of life) but haven’t figured out exactly what to change. She recommended a thought experiment and this exercise, she claimed, would help re-focus my attention on things that really matter to me.
Only by aligning your actions to your beliefs can you find happiness.
How would you live your life knowing you had 6 months left to live, and in 3 scenarios:
- While single
- With a life partner
- With a partner and a child
It took me several weeks to complete this challenge, mostly because I was slightly reluctant to discover what my answers would be. However, after careful consideration, this what I came up with. In no particular order.
With 6 months to live, living by myself:
- Spend more time with family, especially with my niece and nephew
- Connect deeper with friends
- Make peace with my ex-girlfriend
- Find a life partner
- Travel
With 6 months to live, living with a partner:
- Everything above
- Cherish my relationship
- Allow myself to love and feel loved
- Have a child
With 6 months to live, living with a partner and a young child:
- Everything above
- Teach him/her as much as possible about me and life in general
Given I’m living the first scenario, I immediately started applying changes to my lifestyle. The item I wish to elaborate more, and the main objective of this post, is travel.
The parents of my mother have traveled to about 160 countries. Given there are 196 in the world, they pretty much saw it all. They also bought a doll in each country, wearing the traditional national attire, and passed this collection to my mother, who now has it on display at home. My parents travel several times a year, and are often scheming their next getaway. I LOVE one of my mom’s common sayings, “Well, I could spent $x dollars on this product, OR I could spend the same amount on a plane ticket to Europe/Bermuda/You name it”.
I began to travel extensively at 26 years old, and not only consider it a passion, but food for the soul. Traveling pushes your comfort zone, which is one of the best ways to learn more about yourself. It also allow you to understand your place in the world, humbling you, and to appreciate the finer things in life, which are not always what you think they may be. Further, it exposes you to new cultures, new food (yum!), and new perceptions of living. To date, there are 35 countries under my belt. But it’s not enough. I want to see more, visit more, experience more. There are places far from here, that require more time than a 1 or 2 week trip permits.
As if touched by fate, I met a friend that recently came back from a one year, around the world trip. We chatted for an hour with an endless glass of wine, and her eyes never stopped shining, and she never stopped grinning. It was clear this wasn’t the typical, “I’m just in a good mood” smile, this was a, “I see myself and the world in a completely different light now, and life is beautiful” type of grin. It was about mid-way through our conversation that I realized this is what I want to do. No, not want to do, NEED to do.
Why?
- I’ve dreamed about an around the world trip for over 10 years, and I realized that there isn’t much holding me back at the moment. So the little voice in my head says, “Go”
- Work depends on me, but with sufficient notice, they will survive. In my field, there will always be work available. “Go”
- I don’t have any dependents, and have the financial means. “Go”
- I have two passports, and could easily move indefinitely to Europe, but a year’s sabbatical is much easier to swallow. “Go”
- The precious few people I’ve shared this idea with are supportive (and slightly jealous). “Go”
So this is my big decision; starting November 2015, I will leave Montreal and return November 2016. “Gone!”
That’s a great decision Alex.
Hope to see more updates and cool photos from your journey.
Have fun!
Thanks for sharing your process with events and emotions that led you to take THE decision. It takes courage to take it. You got it.
Your eyes have that sparkle as your trip has already started. It’s the day you take the decision that it all starts. Go Alex Go.