Alex in motion

Located along the south western coast of India, Kerala is a province known for tea, coffee and spice plantations as well as an alternative medicine known as Ayurvedic medicine. More on that later.

My first town was the small mountain town of Kumily, where I was thoroughly entertained with a demonstration of traditional martial arts. Four men performed, exhibiting their skills with physical movements and weapons. The most impressive weapon was the curved sword, which has four long thin blades and a single handle. He whipped it around his body several times, like a deadly whip. Then two experts reproduced a mock fight, one with a sword and shield, the other with a long pole. Good times, but no one died 🙁

Immediately after the show, the audience moved to a second venue to watch a Kerala folk play/dance. To be honest, I wasn’t quite exactly sure what I was witnessed, but it was fun nevertheless. Apparently the actors were personality types, as opposed to individuals, as they over emphasized their facial expressions and hand gestures, resulting in an interesting performance.

The next day started with an early morning boat tour in a national park, followed by an elephant ride and then a visit to a lovely tea plantation to learn about how the traditional tea is made. At a spice shop, the sales lady desperately tried to sell me all kinds of ointments that apparently would improve memory and cure everything from psoriasis to my rosacea. I ended bought a small bottle, in the tiny hope it could help my rosacea. It was supposed to contain all natural ingredients, so what damage could it do? After one application of the smelly, greasy cream, I chucked the rest into the garbage.

The second town was Alappuzha, where I spent 24 hours on a boathouse. It was a very cool experience, as I was the only guest with a captain, chef and servant. They took me on a gentle cruise of the nearby lake, where we stopped at a local shop to pickup some ice cream and fresh tiger shrimp. The chef cooked it (the shrimp, not the ice cream) for dinner that night. We also stopped so I could cruise along some narrow, man-made streams in a canoe. Locals lived on one side and rice fields were on the other. This organic moment reminded me of a wonderful 2 week canoe camping trip from 16 years ago. Spending time in a canoe in the countryside is very therapeutic for me, and that simple moment was precious.

The third and last town was Kochi, where I visited two museums, a city palace, a couple of temples and a church. By this point, I was mentally exhausted with India, and everything I visited looked like more of the same. The day ended early and I was happy to spend the evening at the hotel and nearby restaurant, eating the delicious south Indian cuisine.

The next day I flew back to Mumbai to pickup my fully repaired camera (woo-hoo!) and get a much needed haircut. Then it was off to Sri Lanka!

After exactly a month in India, I’ve come to appreciate the culture and people there. They are super friendly, when not trying to sell you something or stare at you like you’re an escaped zoo animal or try to molest you with picture taking like the paparazzi. It’s dirty and smelly, but there’s plenty of beauty to be found if you know where to look.

Goa is the party capital of India, with a blend of beaches, resorts and all-night discos along the beach. Tourists are mostly Russians, yogis and “free-spirited people” that gravitate to the easy-going lifestyle, non-spicy food (yay for me!) and inexpensive costs of the region. The weather hovered around 30C and was sunny for the 4 days I visited.

While touring the area by rented motorcycle, I was randomly stopped by the traffic police. The officer said something in Hindu, and I replied, “rental”. When he realized I spoke English, he called over another officer. The second officer spoke very well in English and asked for my driver’s license. I continued to play dumb and responded, “rental”.

He explained the license plate on my motorcycle indicated it’s a personal vehicle, and it’s against the law to rent a local’s motorcycle. I reiterated, “Rental. Not mine. Tourist” and added a terrible French accent in the hopes he would become frustrated and just wave me off. He didn’t and continued to ask for my papers.

At this point, I was convinced I needed to bribe my way out of the situation, since I didn’t bring my driver’s license with me. A few seconds later though, he got distracted by someone else and walked away. At this point, I noticed both officers were several steps away and were distracted with several other drivers they had previously stopped. So I casually started my motorcycle and drove away.

Slightly nervous, I kept looking in the mirror for a pursuit while random honking from other vehicles caused me to jump from the seat. After about 2km, I presumed they were not chasing me, and started to breath again and began to laugh. I’ve never done that before!

On a remote beach called Paradise Beach, I met a few girls from Belarus. It wasn’t long before one suggested we ride the motorcycle on the beach. I’ve also never done that before, and it was loads of fun. Then they took turns driving with me as the passenger, and I braced for impact each time since none of them had ever driven a motorcycle before.

That evening they invited me to a few clubs, the last of which was honoured with a well known local DJ. Normally I like saying, “yes” to invitations, standing by my expression, “every great adventure begins with a ‘yes'”, which is paraphrased from the movie, “Yes Man” with Jim Carey. So even though it was 3am, and I would be most certainly pushing myself, I accepted their offer.

Along the way, we drank water laced with MDMA, something I haven’t touched in over ten years. After dancing to the groovy beats, my heart started beating too fast and my temperature rose quickly. It forced me to sit and focus on breathing for a while. Looking around the room, with half-naked bodies grinding to the rhythm of trance music, I realized this is a real Goan experience, and it couldn’t be further from what I want in my life.

Perhaps if I was 25, this would have been awesome, and would have been able to seize the moment, as everyone else seemed to be able to do. But at this point in my life, I felt distant and indifferent to everyone.

While recovering the next day, I had a great conversation with the owner of my resort, a well traveled and wise young gentleman. After a few exchanges, he interrupted me with, “You’re not doing what you’re supposed to be doing”.

He proceeded to share some of his spectacular travels to Nepal, Mongolia and northern Thailand, places only a precious few visit. Viewing the natural beauty of the mountains and the wondrous colours of the flowers there literally brought him to tears. It was a marvel that needed to be shared, and he felt selfish to be experiencing it alone.

This “deep” travel is something I need, he continued. I have the time and the means, and shouldn’t spend it only on places everyone has been, or I can easily go with a life partner. Don’t squander the opportunity to get really lost, he warned.

His words resonated, and I’m altering plans accordingly. I’m also pondering what am I REALLY tying to achieve on this journey, but will save that topic for my next post.

A couple hours drive from Mumbai is the city of Pune. Although the city boasts a large population of 2.5 million, the lack of skyscrapers and the abundance of trees lining the streets give it a pleasant suburban vibe. Mix in the fact that it has as a little of everything you could want (history, cultural events, temples, quaint village markets, ethnically diverse residents and is a huge technology hub), and Pune ended up being one of my favourite cities in India.

However, after visiting so many other attractions in the last 2 weeks, I became tired of the usual rounds of sightseeing, and asked my guide to only show me “la creme de la creme” of attractions. I also decided to see the movie, “Deadpool”. The movie experience was rather different than your typical North American one and I feel the need to share it.

• When buying tickets, there was a choice of three categories: silver, gold and platinum. For reasons beyond my comprehension, the most expensive platinum tickets were the furthest from the screen. I chose the gold category, in the middle centre of the theatre
• Before the movie started, there were commercials and each one began with a certificate of approval. I presume it meant the commercial was authorized by the government for public viewing
• Right before the movie started, the national anthem was played, and everyone had to rise from their seats
• People kept arriving late, up to 30 minutes after the movie has started. I was surprised to see how many were willing to miss so much
• Throughout the movie, a few patrons answered their mobile phone and had conversations for several minutes
• Each time an actor was smoking cigarettes, a small text appeared in the bottom right side of the screen saying, “Smoking is dangerous for your health”
• About halfway through the movie, right when the action started to escalate, the movie suddenly stopped and the lights came on. It was a 10 minute intermission with more commercials!
• Lastly, and most interestingly, the movie was quite censored. It was hard to determine the exact specifications for Indian censorship, since the actors could say, “fuck”, but they muted words like “asshole” and “vagina”. Entire scenes were also edited out, which I believe were the most violent and most sexual ones

Despite all the above, I quite thoroughly the movie. Since Deadpool is rated R, I’ll need eventually watch it again with an uncensored version.

Now here are some tourist pictures: